The Sunbeam Residents’ Association

Original cat comedy · Series collection · Fiction

Welcome to the only residents’ association where a patch of warm floor counts as disputed real estate. Chairman Crumb, Treasurer Olive, and reluctant secretary Pickle govern an apartment they do not pay for. Their human believes she owns the place. The minutes suggest otherwise. These fictional cat comedies follow ten very small disputes through a spectacularly unnecessary approval process. Start with the sunbeam permit, or choose whichever household argument looks most familiar. Each story stands alone; together they explain why the sofa now has a constitution.

Read the ten stories

1. Application Denied: Your Sunbeam Permit Has Expired

   Chairman Crumb found the human sitting in the afternoon sunbeam without a permit. He approached with the solemn expression of a building inspector discovering a staircase made of…

2. The Emergency Meeting About the New Throw Pillow

   The new throw pillow arrived on Tuesday, already looking smug. It was mustard yellow, had tassels, and occupied a section of sofa previously reserved for nothing in particular.

3. Pickle Takes Minutes and Loses the Entire Afternoon

   Pickle became secretary because he was sitting nearest the notebook when Crumb announced elections. Nobody had nominated him. This was considered a sign of integrity.

4. A Formal Complaint Against the Moving Patch of Light

   Olive submitted a complaint against the sunbeam for abandoning its designated floor space. She had arrived at two o’clock with every intention of staying until dinner. The…

5. The Doormat Must Declare Its Outside Interests

   The doormat smelled different after the human returned from visiting a friend. This raised immediate questions about undisclosed outside interests.

6. Motion to Rename the Guest Room the Crumb Room

   Crumb proposed renaming the guest room after himself. He cited his long service to the room, including eleven months of sleeping on its bed and a notable afternoon spent behind…

7. The Balcony View Has Been Blocked by a Fern

   A new fern appeared on the other side of the closed balcony door. From Crumb’s perspective, it had been placed directly in front of a highly important section of distant fence.

8. The Sofa Constitution Gains a Very Specific Amendment

   The original sofa constitution contained one sentence: whoever gets here first may stay. It had served the household well until the human arrived first.

9. Inspection Day at the Forbidden Linen Cupboard

   For months, the linen cupboard had remained closed. Crumb considered this suspicious. An honest cupboard, he felt, would not require a door.

10. Annual General Meeting: Nobody Has Read the Agenda

    Crumb opened the annual general meeting by asking whether everyone had read the agenda. Olive had slept on it. Pickle had watched the printer produce it and felt that was…

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