The Sofa Constitution Gains a Very Specific Amendment

Original cat comedy · Short read · Fiction

The original sofa constitution contained one sentence: whoever gets here first may stay. It had served the household well until the human arrived first.

Crumb immediately proposed an amendment. “First” would now mean first among those possessing whiskers, with exemptions for cushions and occasional blankets.

Olive requested a definition of occasional. Pickle requested that definitions be postponed until after his nap. The human requested enough space to sit down.

A compromise gave her seventeen inches at the left end, contingent on providing a lap when required. She accepted, unaware that acceptance activated a forty-page appendix represented by Crumb sitting on her legs.

When she stood to answer the door, Olive occupied the warm indentation. Crumb classified it as abandoned property.

The human returned holding a parcel and appealed the ruling. Appeals were heard only from the sofa, which was now full.

Pickle recorded the constitutional breakthrough in the minutes: everybody had obtained a seat except the person who bought the seats.

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