The Windowsill Gazette

Original cat comedy · Series collection · Fiction

The Windowsill Gazette reports from the most closely watched square of glass in town. Editor Biscuit covers pigeons, parked vans, falling leaves, and the shocking suggestion that anything might happen while he sleeps. These ten fictional newspaper pieces turn a very ordinary view into an extremely dramatic beat. There are no real investigations or eyewitness claims here—just a cat newsroom with strong opinions and a hopelessly narrow circulation area. Browse the headlines, then imagine what your own window correspondent would put on tomorrow’s front page.

Read the ten stories

  1. Breaking: Pigeon Returns to Location Where Pigeon Was

    WINDOWSILL—A pigeon returned to the fence this morning, reigniting a situation that had appeared to end when it left yesterday.

  2. Local Cat Announces He Was Awake the Whole Time

    Biscuit denied sleeping through a delivery yesterday, despite several minutes of footage that existed only in the human’s memory.

  3. The Weather Report Predicts Ninety Percent Curtain

    Today’s forecast calls for a prolonged period of curtain, followed by partial visibility when the human remembers to open it.

  4. Editorial: The Van Has Parked in Our Pigeon Coverage

    For three days, a white van has occupied the part of the view usually reserved for the lower half of a fence. This cannot continue without editorial comment.

  5. Corrections: That Was a Leaf, Not a Small Intruder

    Yesterday’s special edition identified an object crossing the patio as a small, unpredictable intruder. Further reporting has established that it was a leaf.

  6. The Gazette’s Restaurant Critic Reviews a Closed Cupboard

    The cupboard offers an impressively restrained entrance: two doors, no signage, and an opening policy best described as human-dependent.

  7. Sports Desk: Biscuit Wins the Shortest Possible Sprint

    Biscuit completed the hallway sprint in an impressive burst of activity this morning. The course ran from the kitchen doorway to a point approximately halfway toward the kitchen…

  8. Classified Ad: Reliable Human Wanted for Door Duties

    POSITION AVAILABLE: A resident cat seeks an assistant capable of opening one interior door repeatedly without introducing unnecessary questions.

  9. Lifestyle Section: This Cushion Is the New That Cushion

    Last week, discerning cats favored the blue cushion. This week, attention has shifted to the slightly different angle of the same blue cushion.

  10. Letters to the Editor: Please Stop Reporting on My Laundry

    Dear Gazette, My drying rack is not a “new skyline development.” I am drying four shirts. Please correct your coverage.

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