Local Cat Announces He Was Awake the Whole Time

Original cat comedy · Short read · Fiction

Biscuit denied sleeping through a delivery yesterday, despite several minutes of footage that existed only in the human’s memory.

“I saw your eyes closed,” she said.

The Gazette understands that closed eyes are a standard part of advanced observation. Sources familiar with Biscuit’s methods describe the process as listening with the face.

Questions also arose about a soft snoring sound. Biscuit declined to comment, then made the sound again while apparently continuing his investigation.

The delivery itself contained stationery. Experts agree it posed no immediate threat, although the empty carton later attracted intense scrutiny.

Biscuit emerged at two seventeen and personally inspected the aftermath. He found the operation acceptable, especially the corner of the carton nearest the radiator.

The Gazette has updated its earlier headline, “Security Chief Misses Entire Event,” to the more accurate “Security Chief Delegates Routine Arrival.”

The human has requested a correction to the correction. Due to space constraints, her letter will appear somewhere beneath Biscuit.

Keep the comedy going

Part of The Windowsill Gazette.

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