The Gazette’s Restaurant Critic Reviews a Closed Cupboard

Original cat comedy · Short read · Fiction

The cupboard offers an impressively restrained entrance: two doors, no signage, and an opening policy best described as human-dependent.

I arrived without a reservation and waited near the handle. Service was slow. A member of staff walked past carrying laundry, an unusual choice for someone apparently employed in hospitality.

The atmosphere was promising. Somewhere beyond the doors lay familiar sounds of packaging and the possibility of lunch.

When the cupboard finally opened, the presentation disappointed. The human removed a mug. A second opening produced a tea bag. Neither item reflected the menu I had imagined.

Nevertheless, I returned for a third sitting. Consistency matters in restaurant criticism, especially when the reviewer has nowhere else to be.

The eventual meal arrived from a different cupboard. I regard this as an ambitious use of multiple locations.

Final rating: four paws for anticipation, one for communication. I would return, and in fact remained after the review was complete. The establishment has yet to acknowledge my influence.

Keep the comedy going

Part of The Windowsill Gazette.

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