Lifestyle Section: This Cushion Is the New That Cushion

Original cat comedy · Short read · Fiction

Last week, discerning cats favored the blue cushion. This week, attention has shifted to the slightly different angle of the same blue cushion.

Biscuit discovered the trend after the human straightened the sofa. What had been a familiar resting place became an unexplored destination requiring immediate occupation.

“It’s still your cushion,” the human said, missing the entire direction of contemporary cushion culture.

The new arrangement offers a clearer view of the doorway and a subtly altered relationship with the armrest. Early adopters report feeling almost exactly as comfortable as before, but with greater confidence.

Readers hoping to recreate the look should note that Biscuit’s endorsement may expire without warning. He has previously abandoned successful locations for a folded cardigan that happened to be nearby.

The Gazette receives no payment from cushion manufacturers. Its editorial team does, however, accept warmth.

At press time, Biscuit had moved to the floor. Our next issue explores the bold return of not using any of the things bought for you.

Keep the comedy going

Part of The Windowsill Gazette.

Read next: Letters to the Editor: Please Stop Reporting on My Laundry.

For more feline personality, explore CyberPussyKatz’s Wacky Cat Designs & Funny Cat Apparel.