The Weather Report Predicts Ninety Percent Curtain

Original cat comedy · Short read · Fiction

Today’s forecast calls for a prolonged period of curtain, followed by partial visibility when the human remembers to open it.

Biscuit’s weather desk reports that conditions behind the curtain remain uncertain. Yesterday’s attempt to forecast outdoors from the sound of a washing machine produced several inaccurate thunderstorm warnings.

Once visibility improves, residents can expect a bright patch near the chair. Its arrival time is classified as whenever it feels like it.

The long-range forecast includes darkness, a development the Gazette has tracked with growing concern every evening.

Readers asking whether the weather desk knows the actual temperature should consult the human’s phone. Biscuit’s instruments currently measure only pleasant, insufficiently pleasant, and a compelling reason to occupy somebody’s lap.

An advisory remains in effect for the radiator area, where high demand may cause localized seating shortages.

Tomorrow’s outlook is similar, unless the human washes the curtains. In that case, the newsroom expects unusually clear conditions and an exhausting amount of world.

Keep the comedy going

Part of The Windowsill Gazette.

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