Dear Black Trousers, Consider This a Collaboration

Original cat comedy · Short read · Fiction

Dear Black Trousers,

You arrived in the household looking very certain of your own color. I have contributed a few pale hairs to broaden the composition.

The human calls this shedding. I prefer to think of it as a collaboration between your fabric and my ongoing presence.

You may notice that the additions are not evenly distributed. This reflects the areas where you have been most fortunate in receiving my attention.

The lint roller will attempt to remove my work before you leave the house. Please do not take this personally. Some audiences find subtle texture challenging.

I will be available to restore the design when you return, especially if the human sits down while still wearing you.

There is no fee for this service. Credit would be appreciated, although I understand the human usually attributes the result to “the cat” with a sigh.

With creative affection,
Clementine

P.S. Tell the navy sweater I have not forgotten it. A broad portfolio requires patience, and the laundry basket is a competitive exhibition space.

Keep the comedy going

Part of Letters from Your Mildly Disappointed Cat.

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