Best Supporting Human Goes to the Person Who Stayed Seated

Original cat comedy · Short read · Fiction

Competition for Best Supporting Human was fierce. One candidate opened doors. Another remembered where the preferred blanket belonged.

But the winner had remained on the sofa for forty-three minutes because Agnes was asleep on her lap.

Rupert praised the performance as subtle, restrained, and increasingly uncomfortable.

The human explained that she had needed a drink for most of the final twenty minutes. The academy considered this evidence of commitment.

Agnes attended the ceremony from the same lap. When the winner attempted to stand for her acceptance speech, the nominee occupying her knees expressed concern.

The speech was therefore delivered seated. “Thank you,” the human said. “Could someone pass my glass?”

No one could. The other attendees were cats, and Rupert’s production company had not budgeted for practical assistance.

The award came with no cash prize, but Agnes stretched one paw across the human’s wrist.

The human smiled and stayed another ten minutes. Rupert privately suspected that the category had been established to reward a situation the cats intended to continue.

Keep the comedy going

Part of The Golden Whisker Household Awards.

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