We Cannot Refund Yesterday’s Sunbeam

Original cat comedy · Short read · Fiction

Dear Customer,

We have reviewed your request for compensation after yesterday’s sunbeam disappeared before your nap concluded.

Unfortunately, sunlight is supplied on a moving basis. The bright rectangle you occupied at two o’clock was not guaranteed to remain beneath you at three.

You noted that no one explained this at installation. We acknowledge that the window’s documentation is mostly glass.

Our records show that a similar service was available on the adjacent floor for several minutes. You declined to relocate because, in your words, relocating would defeat the purpose of lying down.

We sympathize. However, unused sunshine cannot be rolled over into the following day.

As a goodwill gesture, we have instructed your human to notice that you look chilly. We cannot guarantee compliance, particularly if she is already wearing a sweater and assumes the matter is settled.

Your account remains in good standing. Please return tomorrow for another limited, weather-dependent opportunity to believe that the universe has finally arranged itself around your cushion.

Warm regards,
Noodle

Keep the comedy going

Part of The Feline Customer Service Desk.

Read next: The Door Is Open but the Service Is Still Unsatisfactory.

For more feline personality, explore CyberPussyKatz’s Wacky Cat Designs & Funny Cat Apparel.