The Audience Member Who Keeps Saying Dinner

Original cat comedy · Short read · Fiction

Tilly had reached the crucial moment of the play. Morris was about to look in Pearl’s general direction when the human said, “Dinner.”

The cast exited together, demonstrating a level of coordination previously absent from rehearsal.

Tilly followed, partly out of professional concern and partly because she also understood the announcement.

Afterward, she issued new audience guidelines. Phones should be silent. Commentary should be minimal. Words associated with meals should be reserved for the curtain call.

The human promised nothing, largely because the guidelines existed only in Tilly’s expression.

The next performance began earlier. Morris looked. Pearl blinked. Tilly felt the production finding its rhythm.

Then the human asked, “Have you had dinner?” while speaking on the phone.

The cast assembled in the kitchen. No dinner appeared. Morale suffered.

Tilly added a clause covering indirect references and conversational quotations. She was now spending more time on audience policy than theater.

The human called the cats adorable. Tilly considered that another interruption, although less operationally damaging.

Keep the comedy going

Part of The Cardboard Playhouse.

Read next: Morris Improvises an Entirely Different Ending.

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