Please Describe the Empty Bowl Without Using the Word Empty

Original cat comedy · Short read · Fiction

The complaint form offered a generous two hundred characters. Noodle felt this was sufficient to describe most household emergencies.

The customer typed, in spirit, “EMPTY.”

The form requested more detail.

“BOWL EMPTY.”

The form suggested checking the help center.

The customer looked into the bowl again. A few pieces remained around the edge. He amended his report to “CENTER EMPTY,” a distinction he regarded as legally decisive.

Noodle advised that the contents had not vanished; they had merely distributed themselves inconveniently.

The customer objected to being expected to perform lateral work.

The human arrived, gave the bowl a small turn, and departed. The formerly inaccessible pieces now occupied a more promising location. No new material had been added.

Noodle recorded a successful interface refresh.

The customer ate, then reopened the case to ask why such a simple repair had taken so long.

Support sent a satisfaction survey. He rated the food five stars and the existence of the problem one.

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Part of The Feline Customer Service Desk.

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