Auditions for the Role of a Cat Go Badly

Original cat comedy · Short read · Fiction

Tilly announced auditions for the role of a cat. She expected an easy afternoon.

First came Morris, who stood in the doorway and declined to enter. Tilly admired his commitment to ambiguity but asked whether he could repeat the performance on cue. He left.

Second came Pearl, who delivered a convincing nap. Unfortunately, the role required crossing the room. Pearl’s agent, also Pearl, considered this an unreasonable expansion of the brief.

Tilly demonstrated the scene herself. The human applauded softly and said, “Good girl.” This reduced a serious artistic exercise to something upsettingly adorable.

By five, every candidate had rejected the part without formally accepting that an audition was taking place.

Tilly cast herself. Morris received the role of the doorway. Pearl became the bed, a decision she found consistent with her process.

The production opened to one human and a lamp. Reviews praised the casting but questioned why the director spent the entire first act watching something nobody else could see.

Keep the comedy going

Part of The Cardboard Playhouse.

Read next: The Leading Cat Refuses to Enter from Stage Left.

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